“Hey! To be blunt, if you and your partner are fighting late into the night, the best thing you can do for your relationship is to walk up to her, hug her, kiss her on the cheek and say “well work on this tomorrow”, then get your ass in bed. Not only is it important to be present physically, but also emotionally. One of the most common reasons why men pick fights in relationships is because they–knowingly or unknowingly–do not feel like they’re getting their needs met inside of their relationship. Plan a conversation. As a result, most of your fights probably leave you acting like this: Over the past decade, I’ve had many amazing relationships and suffered through many more that were plagued by constant fighting and irreconcilable differences. […] The same author who wrote the book Crucial Conversations, which I talked about in the article “5 Quick Ways to End a Fight with a Girlfriend” wrote a great article on apologizing in the work setting. I’m still a work in progress. Means that for every negative interaction during a fight, a stable marriage has five or more positive interactions. Nothing wears a guy out more than a relationship fight. Sound familiar? You might not be able to control how she is acting, but you can control yourself. Specifically, they found that the “magic ratio” for making a relationship work is 5:1. I should read these daily myself! Does my partner acknowledge her role inside of the conflicts that are happening? So, he quietly set about changing his diet and, within days, the number of arguments he had with his partner dropped significantly. I Called Danny Silk who told me my choices should not be controlled by Debrahs actions.That I was resposible for me and my actions and i shouldnt let her actions control me.This is equally true in a fight between partners.Guys you can only control you and your actions.Act with integrity and do good upon your lady..dont return fire with fire.Control how you act.. Great advice Bruce! If the change is big enough and related to something integral such as health, finances, or work and life balance, start the conversation by creating a shared vision that excites your partner. finances—so she does not get anxious) and ask when would be a good time to sit down together. Then click here to watch my new client orientation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship. It’s a killer deal and I’m not asking for much. So before you pick another fight or wonder, “should we break up?” pause and ask yourself…What specific outcome do I want and what action must my partner take to make that a reality? When your partner brings a problem to you, it’s easy to assume that she wants a solution. It goes a little something like this when she gets mad at me: I’m quiet, hoping the problem just passes over, and of course it never does. Not only is it important to be present physically, but also emotionally. Every girl seemed to have the “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster at one point. Part of me is looking forward to our first fight so that I can demonstrate my love in yet another way. Calming the Other Person Down Keep your tone of voice even and calm. One of the most common causes of relational conflict between men and women is that men are “fixers.” We are solution-oriented and tend to reside in a very logical headspace. Allow her to speak her mind without interruption. This might sound simple, but it’s wickedly effective. Find something you genuinely appreciate about her and express it. They make claims about who the other person is instead of what they are doing or did and always lead to relationship fights and arguing.